Greetin's one and all, we give ye fair warnin' that t' enter here could cost you your life.
Captain Dirty Joe Bonnie be in a foul mood and a bit rum soaked. His favorite wench has port him and he cannot face t' world just yet. Have ye some words o' advice t' win her aft? Or do you know some other who would care t' join him and become his new lady love?
Best be goin' unless ye want t' join me in a wild splice t' mainbraceen bin'e t' forget me heart ache. Arrrgh!!!!